Summer means finally
getting to be with friends, but it also means finally getting to be alone. Weirdly enough, I like to be alone, and I
don’t think I get enough time by myself during school. Don't get me wrong--I love being around
people, and I have great friends, but sometimes I just need to go off on my own
and think. Anyway, summer is the only
time I really have to be alone: no obligations, nobody asking me to do things,
no distractions, no homework. I can
disappear for a few hours and come back like it's no big deal. And I think it makes me enjoy the time I
spend with other people even more.
Sometimes my days and nights spent alone are the ones I remember
best. And the ones I miss the most.
I want to sit
outside and look up at the moon and stars.
I wanna lay in the cool grass and stare up at the giant sky and feel
tiny. I like those nights when it looks
like the world is in a big glass ball and the sky is just a dark blanket
covering it. But there are tiny little
holes in the blanket where some light gets through. And the stars are the tiny pinpricks of light
shining through. And I would feel so
little compared to the vastness of space.
And maybe I would fall asleep there in the grass; one person in the
middle of an open field under an open sky.
It makes me feel really small and insignificant, but at the same
time, being all alone makes me feel
important. I'm the only human around as
far as the eye can see and it feels like a big deal.
I want to sit on my
tire swing and put my ipod speakers in the grass next to me, and play all the
music that brings back the best memories.
I would reach out with my legs and push myself against the giant tree
like I always do. It's only way I can
gain any momentum to start swinging because there's no one there to push me,
and the swing is high enough that my feet don't reach the ground. It makes me feel like a little kid
again. And then I would just sit there
and swing for hours, singing the whole time.
I sing along with my music, but then I turn it off and make up my own
songs, singing my feelings out to God and everyone in earshot. Eventually it gets too cold and I have to go
in. But I would stay out there forever
if I could.
I want to go on a
bike ride with my ipod on and my phone off.
I like to just ride without knowing where I'm going. I like to take random roads just to see where
they go, then try to find my way back on my own. I get bonus points if I go home a different
way than I came. Since the ride has no
purpose, I'm free to stop whenever I want.
I stop to pet horses when the fence comes close enough to the road. I stop to discover new things in places I
haven't been before: a little park, a walking path, or even just a road I've
never seen before. Sometimes, I'm
overcome by the beauty of everything around me, and have to stop to take it all
in. Sometimes I end up finding a new way
to get somewhere, or a shortcut, or a back road that nobody knows about. And sometimes I get lost and have to call my
parents to come pick me up. But that's
okay, because getting lost is kind of the point.
I want to go to the
beach and take a walk by myself.
Preferably in the morning, when nobody else is there. I can walk along right where the waves hit
the sand, so my footprints are washed away seconds after they are made. It looks like I was never even there in the
first place; the world has erased all evidence of me. Being the only person on the beach makes me
feel like I'm the only person in the world.
And it makes me wonder what Adam and Eve felt like. To know that they were the first people to
ever lay eyes on the world. To take a
step and think wow, that was the first time
that this piece of ground has ever been stepped on before. Or to take a breath, and realize that that
air has never been inhaled by someone until now. And so I'll just be there for hours, feeling
the sand squish beneath my bare feet and wondering if this is what it feels
like to be the first human to walk the earth.
I want to sit on my
porch and watch the sunset. I love
watching the sky transition from light blue to orange to pink to purple to dark
blue to dark of night. It's so
breath-taking and beautiful and special-looking, but most people don’t take the
time to watch sunsets on a regular basis.
Maybe it's because they happen everyday, so people take it for
granted. And I can't help but think
about how much God blessed us by making this world so beautiful. And we take it for granted. But He's blessed me in so many other ways
too. There's tons of blessings that I
didn't even realize I had until this year.
And I start thinking about all those things I'm thankful for one by one. And I could go on and on forever, but the sun
has already set, the night is setting in, and the stars are slowly
appearing. But I don't want this to end. So I decide to go out on the grass, lie down,
and look up at up at the sky.
